


"Evaporation of Sanity" VS "Queen's Discipline"

by goldenteaset



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bawdy, Character Study, Crack Relationships, F/M, Light Dom/sub, Mild Sexual Content, One-sided Medb/Cu, Post-Coital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:47:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenteaset/pseuds/goldenteaset
Summary: "Men have fallen for her at a glance a thousand times. She’s used to it. But somehow, Astolfo makes it seem so…simple. He didn’t give something up, or take something away.What kind of offeristhis?"





	"Evaporation of Sanity" VS "Queen's Discipline"

**Author's Note:**

> It's fun to write someone like Medb out of her depth every now and then--even if eventually things are bound to end up in her favor with Astolfo being so good-natured. (Plus I needed a short break from working on A Demanding Heart. ^^;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Grand Order.

Chatting over lunch with Astolfo was a mistake.

He _seemed_ thoughtless enough earlier, with that bright smile and overly-excited way of talking. He had great taste in fashion, too; the rose-pink braid that falls over his shoulder like a waterfall looks ripe for a gentle tug—and no doubt his unbound hair would feel like silk against her flushed skin. As for his voice…well, either she would get used to its high pitch or gag him.  

Medb was in the mood for a man like that. But now she regrets the choice to deign sharing her table in the cafeteria with him.

“So why’re you so obsessed with that Cu guy, anyway?”

That was Astolfo’s first question. And even after gushing over the Hound of Ulster and gnashing her teeth in turns, Astolfo isn’t on Medb’s side. Rather, he just keeps nodding along, that damned smile on his face.

“Oh, so that’s it. He doesn’t care about you, and you're not used to that, so you care twenty-thousand times as much about what he thinks!” Astolfo kicks his legs lazily back and forth, resting his elbows on the table. His boot brushes hers; his foot is warm beneath the leather. “Well, maybe that’ll get through to him one day.”

Medb doesn’t want “maybe”, nor a commoner's sympathy. She wants the recovery of her dignity to be certain. She focuses on eating her lunch as quickly yet elegantly as possible, the better to leave this man who’s far more astute than he looks. Her mood is so sour she can’t even taste her meal.

The stark-white cafeteria is filling up as more Servants and staff drop by for lunch. Flavors from a thousand different lands fill the air, yet they only curdle Medb’s hunger further. _Why isn’t anyone trying to sit with me but this idiot? I’m the greatest companion you could ask for, dining or otherwise!_

Astolfo takes her silence as a cue to continue talking. Unfortunately. “I understand, y’know. Sometimes people don’t listen to me. I think it’s because of my Evaporation of Sanity—oh, or maybe it’s because I talk too much? Well, whatever. People here like me, and I like them!” He tilts his head, his braid inches from falling onto his lunch tray and getting sandwich crumbs in his silky locks. “Hey, hey, why don’t I ask my buddy D’eon if you can hang out with us?”

Medb pauses; a cup of orange juice is halfway to her lips. “…Oh, you’re too kind,” she manages, and drinks. If this D’eon person is anything like _this_ blabbermouth—

“—You like strong and brave warriors, right?” Astolfo leans forward, his eyes bright with excitement. “D’eon is exactly your type!”

She wracks her brain, trying to put a face to the name. The one person that comes to mind is someone she glimpsed in her first tour of Chaldea in a _splendid_ feather-adorned hat; after that she recalls something about a spy for the French Royal family. _A spy may not be a_ warrior _, per se…but if this D’eon comes from a time of romance and intrigue…_

Now Medb deigns to give Astolfo her attention. She sets her glass aside and leans in. “Really?”

He bounces in his seat without a trace of shame, his braid following suit. “Yup! They’re _suuuuper_ nice, one of the first Servants Master summoned, and…”

Medb could clap her hands with glee. If this D’eon is one of her Master’s most powerful Servants, then that’s another item to check off her list. She opens her mouth, eager to ask Astolfo to introduce them at once—

—Until Astolfo frowns. “…Oh. That’s right, D’eon doesn’t want a lover.” His brows knit together in frustration as he snaps his fingers like he’s summoning an answer from thin air. “Hang on, I’ll think of somebody better!”

The tingling excitement in Medb’s heart melts away, replaced with icy bitterness. “You’ve done enough,” she snaps, rising to her feet.

“No I haven’t,” Astolfo says, now wide-eyed and obnoxiously innocent. “You look like you want to throw the moon at me.” He glances away, a little flustered. “I wouldn’t do that, by the way. My friends there would kill you. And I’d hate for that to happen!”

She shouldn’t ask. She knows that. And yet she does anyway. “Why?”

She blinks in surprise when Astolfo hops up from his chair, ambles around the table, and stops right in front of her. Bafflingly, he’s taller than her by a head. _How did I not notice that before?_

He bends down slightly to whisper in her ear. “I think you’re really beautiful. You’re not exactly kind, though. But in bed, that’s okay—if we feel like it, I mean.” His straightforward-yet-intimate words tickle her ear and neck. Then he straightens up and beams. “That’s Astolfo’s confession!" He rests a hand on his hip, drawing her eye. "Well, your Highness? What d’you say?”

“…Oh.”

For the first time in a long while, she has no idea whether to be flattered or confused. Men have fallen for her at a glance a thousand times. She’s used to it. But somehow, Astolfo makes it seem so…simple. He didn’t give something up, or take something away. 

What kind of offer _is_ this?

“…Excuse me. I need a moment.”

Letting Astolfo take care of her half-empty food tray, she spins on her heel and stalks out of the overcrowded, over-bright cafeteria and heads for the training simulator. Her skin itches with the need to exert her power, even if it’s over a weakling made of data.

\---

Two hours later, she passes through the glowing light that signals the simulation’s over, her muscles pleasantly sore and her sanity restored. Or at least, it’s _almost_ restored.  

While wiping her sweat-filmed body with a soft, pink towel, she finds herself seriously considering Astolfo’s offer. _Which is ridiculous. He never stops talking. He barely makes any sense at all. And he didn’t offer anything of value! What kind of treasure could he possibly—_

Medb pauses, pressing the towel against her cheek. Little by little, it dawns on her that Astolfo _does_ have treasure in abundance.

The Hippogriff he rides as his Noble Phantasm, for example. What would her world look like, above the clouds? Beautiful. Delicate. Vast.

 _That_ could be something worth her while.

Humming to herself, Medb dresses and leaves training simulator behind, slinking down the myriad white halls in search of Astolfo’s room. While a queen shouldn’t have to search for anyone, there _is_ something novel in the hunt. _And we'll be in my Chariot soon enough, anyway! Then no one will disturb us._

\---

Unfortunately, even having been ridden by Connacht's Queen does nothing to slow Astolfo's wits. 

“You wanted my treasures, huh?” Astolfo cuddles Medb to his chest, her hair pooling against his like a river of rose wine. “This chariot is so amazing, though." His hand glides along her spine until it reaches the soft curve of her lower back. "It even has a gigantic bed inside! Hippogriff is soft, but even he's not a feather mattress, y'know?" 

Medb hums in pleasure at such praise and idly toys with the pale-pink bud of his nipple. He's one of those men who doesn't mind being under her thumb, so to speak. And he certainly showed as much enthusiasm for her pleasure as he does everything. _A good choice for the night. Except..._

“Oh, here's an idea: why not just ask to borrow my treasures?" He looks up at the ceiling and hums. "Unless you like a convoluted reason to sleep with someone—” 

“—I’ll gag you again,” she grumbles, hunting about for his stockings. “You should be grateful to be in my Chariot!” A sensual smile crosses her lips. "I know. I'll _show_ you how much you should love me!" 

“So you're ready for another round?” Astolfo’s quartz-pink eyes have a brightness to them beyond just the softly-lit lanterns hanging overhead. “Great! You really look incredible above me, y’know.”

“Of course I do,” Medb scoffs, her groping fingers finally finding a stocking and stuffing it unceremoniously into Astolfo’s waiting mouth. “You’d best have _at least_ two hours’ worth of praise for me once I'm satisfied!”

Astolfo lets out a muffled giggle and gives her a lazy thumbs-up. 

(Several hours later, he tries to add a serenade via La Black Luna to the bargain. She declines such destructive racket and thus Chaldea remains intact. One could call it a good deed done for selfish reasons.

Still, he's sweet. Perhaps she'll play with him again some time.)      

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated. :D


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